Friday, March 18, 2011

How to Talk to Your Ex

Once you divorce your spouse, or you permanently break up with your significant one, the way you communicate with your Ex will have a huge impact on the quality of your relationship with him/her.  If you have children in common, you will need to talk with your Ex; it's unavoidable.

The end of the relationship marks the end of the former intimay and familiarity.  After the divorce/break up your former other half reverts to being someone you have to treat with the utmost respect you reserve for perfect strangers.  If you are talking to her, think you are addressing the Queen of England.  If you are talking with him, think you are addressing President Obama.  You can substitute the Queen and the President for people you personally respect, but you must remember that your communications have to reflect the change in the relationship.

You can take the initiative in changing the tone of your communications.  Common courtesy and consideraton will go a long way in facilitating your necessary exchanges regarding child support, visitation, and the many other issues involved in raising a child.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Can You File Your Divorce Action in New York?

Welcome back to my divorce blog.

     If you have made the decision to divorce your spouse, the next consideration is whether you can file your action for a divorce in New York.  There are residency requirements that need to be met for the Courts in New York State to have jurisdiction over your case.  Jurisdiction means that the Court has authority to do something, in this case, entertain your complaint for a divorce and render a decision.


1.  If either you or your spouse has resided in New York for a continuous period of more than two years (two years and one day), you can file your divorce in N.Y.

2.  If you have lived in New York State for more than one year (one year and one day) and you were married in New York State and lived with your spouse in New York State and the cause of action took place in New York State, then you can file your divorce in New York State.  Even if you no longer live in New York State but your spouse has lived in New York State for more than one year and the two of you were married in N.Y.S. and  both of you lived here and the cause of action occurred in N.Y.S., you can file your divorce here. 

3.  If the cause of action occurred in New York State and both you and your spouse were residents of N.Y.S. at the time you file for a divorce, the Courts will have jurisdiction over your cause of action.

     In my next post I shall deal with cause of actions.  In New York State a spouse can now get a divorce by stating under oath that the marriage has been irretrievably broken for at least six months.


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Diciding it's Time to Divorce your Spouse

Welcome to my divorce blog.

You do not go to a divorce attorney to find out if you should divorce your spouse. That is a decision you have to make before you consult an attorney. Your relationship with your spouse is personal and intimate; no one other than yourself is in a position to decide that the relationship must be terminated.

Let’s make it clear: only you know when your marriage should cease to exist.

Of course, if you are the victim of domestic violence, you should seek help immediately (whether the thought of going through a divorce has entered your mind or not).

If your children are victims of domestic violence, you should seek help immediately because it is your obligation, your duty, your absolute responsibility, to protect your children. Allowing your children to be physically, emotionally, psychologically or sexually abused makes you complicit.

If you are reading this and do not know where to seek help with a domestic violence situation, email me at or call me at 718-261-7200 and I will provide you with contact information to organizations that can help you. Please remember that you can dial 911 for help and the police will come to assist you.

In this blog I will write about divorce issues but bear in mind that your life experience is different from everyone else's and although there are similarities between your divorce and your second cousin’s friend’s divorce, you cannot assume that your divorce will be handled in the same manner or will be resolved in the same way.

Nothing I will write in this blog is the final word about divorce actions or totally applicable to your situation. To know about divorce law and how it is applicable to your particular case you have to consult an attorney.

I hope that what you read in this blog will be useful to you in some way.

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